Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Picture of Trust*

I'm standing. I don't understand how I got here. I don't understand what's going on. I'm uncomfortable with the situation in more than one way. What's going on hurts me both physically and emotionally. Except that it doesn't, because I am looking in the eyes of my beautiful Master, who is standing right beside me. He understands what is going on, even though I don't. He has power over the situation, even though I don't. And above the intellectual comfort of that is a simple joy and assurance at His presence. This Master who I love so much, who holds my heart in His hands, who has been with me in every moment of pain and confusion and who never deserts me even when I doubt Him. And the joy and assurance that floods through makes the physical and emotional discomfort of the situation literally fade to nothing and seem irrelevant to me.
*from a dream

Sunday, April 15, 2012


"Trust in God," I'm told.
"It will all work out . . . "
"He has a plan . . . "
"He knows what He's doing . . . "
Unfortunately, as long as these phrases come to me in the songs or from the writings of someone who I perceive in certain ways, I don't listen, at all. I think, "Oh sure! Easy for you to say. Look where you are in your life! You know what you're doing! You already have everything I want! Where was that statement when you were struggling? Did you think that then too?"
A completely ungracious thought, I know. And I know that just because someone's circumstances look awesome to me that doesn't mean they don't still have struggles. And I know that these things are being said out of a desire to comfort with wisdom that comes from experience. Even knowing that, I still don't get the comfort that I should from that song (I am writing this mostly about my recent reactions to a particular song, which I am neither directly quoting nor crediting due to the ungracious nature of what I am saying combined with the fact that I actually really like and respect the artist).
Thankfully, comfort has come from another place. I'm reading through the Bible according to a plan that is supposed to be in chronological order, and at the moment I'm in 1 Samuel and Psalms, reading about David. And I never really thought much before about the correlation between David's Psalms and where he was in his life when he wrote them, but now I am.

"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!"
Psalm 27:13-14
"For you are my rock and my fortress;
and for Your name's sake You lead me and guide me"
"I will rejoice and be glad in Your steadfast love,
because You have seen my affliction;
You have known the distress of my soul"
"Oh, how abundant is Your goodness,
which You have stored up for those who fear You
and worked for those who take refuge in You,
in the sight of the children of mankind!"
"Be strong, and let your heart take courage,
all you who wait for the Lord!"
Psalm 31:3,7,19,24
"...I am like a green olive tree in the house of God.
I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever.
I will thank You forever,
because You have done it.
I will wait for Your name, for it is good,
in the presence of the godly."
Psalm 52:8,9
These things were not written while David was the crowned King and had defeated Saul and had all the Israelites on his side. They were written while he was on the run with his band of outcasts, while his life was being sought by those to whom he had done no harm. Which is exactly what I wanted to hear, because if David can write these things in those circumstances, then God is just as trustworthy in the seasons of life where you DON'T have things figured out and have what you want is He is in those where you DO. (Kinda the definition of trustworthy, anyway, I know.) In other words, if David can trust in those circumstances, then I certainly can in mine! I don't have to wait until things actually work out to be able to proclaim God's faithfulness!
So, thank You, God, for being truly trustworthy and faithful; and thank you, David, for waxing poetic about it while hiding in caves.