Seasons, Living, and Gratitude

Here I am. Not quite where I want to be, but living, existing, using time, passing time, wasting time, or watching time float by me, allowing a section of my life to be spent--in whatever way I choose to spend today, this week, this month, this year.

A few months ago I was complaining to a friend about how I was not looking forward to the next year or so of my life and various things that come with it. "It's only a season," she said. O friend who I'm sure is reading this, I know that was meant to be a comfort and a reminder that it is not permanent, and it certainly sparked a train of thought about this time of my life that has been helpful, but in a fundamental way it is not comforting. Because, sure, it's not permanent, not going to be this way forever, but this is still a part of my life that I must live through and can't skip over.

And I am realizing that how I choose to approach a time of my life that I feel this way about matters, a lot. For one thing, if I'm not choosing to live in a manner and with an attitude that I would want to live in, and with making good choices in any area it is possible for me to make good choices in--if I'm not doing that now, who's to say that I ever will? It's not that I believe that every habit I set right now will be permanent and unchangeable, but, today I am given today in which to live, and if I'm not living now, I may reach the next year and the things that I hope it will bring and find that I have forgotten how to live and enjoy and be grateful.

Be grateful! Even as I type it I fight the attitude that the phrase requires. But I came to a realization recently that EVERY section of my life has its own opportunities that the next might not have . . . even this one. And so, I am trying to live and to take advantage of those opportunities, and be grateful for them.

At least, some days I am trying and succeeding, some days I am trying and failing, and some days I am not really trying (and therefore failing by default).

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is Your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23