Change

Weird is the new normal
Terrible is the new good
Crazy is the new sane

I have always hated change. If something is different, if I am going to do something I have never done before, if I am leaving what I consider to be my normal zone of existence in either time, place, or people, I am sure that that means something terrible is happening. I've heard it said that change is the only constant, and it has often seemed that, for me, that was going to translate into "fear is the only constant". Not surprisingly, I have never thought that constant fear sounded like a good way to live. I only thought I might be stuck with it.

Now, there is nothing in the Bible that instructs us to live in fear. The Bible says of fear that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7)and that "perfect love casts out fear . . . and the one who fears is not perfected in love" (1 John 4:18). Nor does the picture given in the Bible of what God wants for our lives leave room for fearfulness. Jesus says of His sheep, "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" (John 10:10), and He also says (in a passage where He is giving instructions on abiding in Him, in His Word, and in His love) "These things I have spoken to you that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full" (John 15:11). I don't know about you, but I don't find living abundantly and having my joy made full to be compatible with living in fear.

But, I think to myself, to *not* be afraid would be a big change. And I don't like change. So, right now, I'm in a really good place: laying down new and better patterns, having more confidence and less shyness, just generally being a lot happier with my life the way it is. And that's great. But it's so different that I find it downright disconcerting. That's why I'm writing this--to remind myself that change can actually be good--to show myself that a more joyful and abundant life *is* God's will for me and not some wacky innovation of my own.

Therefore, I can feel free to enjoy it, and to trust God that it will not be merely a phase.

PS: a note on the three lines at the top. It is an expression of how disoriented I feel. My new normal is quite different from the old one; I am enjoying things that I used to be afraid of; I am living in a way that is more intense and "out there" than usual. Here's hoping it lasts!