Saturday, April 2, 2011
Who I Am
For He who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one Father; for which reason He is not ashamed to call them brethren.
No matter who I think I am, no matter how I judge myself and expect others to judge me by my performance, the truth of who I am is found in what God has called me. He has called me His daughter and Jesus has called me His sister. I have often been the sort of person who has defined myself by my relationship to a person or group of people, but human relationships may come and go, and even the ones that we keep and cherish (which is certainly a blessing) can't be a guarantee that that person will always be there in every situation . . . so, if I want my definition of myself to be stable, I can't base it in that. But if I could see myself as first and foremost the beloved daughter of God!
Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation--if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. As you come to Him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. . . . But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
1 Peter 2:2-5, 9-10
The next time that I find myself freaking out about whether I will succeed at something or what people will think of me, I hope that I will remember that who I really am is not defined by these things that so often seem to make up my life. I hope that those of you who are reading this can also find comfort in who you are in relation to God.
God asked me to go for a walk with Him this morning, so I walked around outside for awhile, talking to Him. It was a good thing to do. I found myself talking about things that seemed to me silly and inconsequential and then said apologetically, "I'm sure that's not what You asked me out here to talk about." In response, however, I think He said something along the lines of, "Why do you think I asked you out here to talk about something in particular? To accomplish some task? I want to be with you, to spend time with you."
That made me think about what I often forget to reassure myself of. God loves . . . me. Not for something I have done. Not for something He wants me to do in the future. Me. Not just as a tool to use to reach other people. Not just as a project with which to prove what He can do. He actually cares about doing these things FOR ME. He wants to spend time with me. He wants to help me and heal me and be with me. Yes, He has prepared good works for me to do. Yes, He wants to use me as a servant. But He would not be the truly all-loving God that I proclaim Him as, if He did not also simply care about me, my well-being, my holiness, my future.